Thursday, October 29, 2015

Weigh In Eve

Happy Friday Eve!! 

Also known as Thursday. Also known as Weigh In Eve. 

I have been trying not to weigh myself every day because I was starting to obsess a little. I think I may start again because this morning I saw a number that terrified me. I swore I was out of the 260's for good and the scale showed me a glimpse of that at 260 point something - I was too freaked out to remember what the decimal was.. UGH!!

Now I have been on plan for almost four days now. So I know this will pass (hopefully by tomorrow's weigh in!!) 

These are the things that tend to send me into a tail spin of depression, but I'm not allowing that this time. I'm making it motivate me. I'm turning my stress into determination. 

We'll see how that all goes! 

This week, thankfully, is still going by quickly. I can't wait to snuggle up with my Kindle tomorrow night and read myself to sleep; AND to not have to wake up to an alarm on Saturday. The funny thing about that is I usually end up waking up around the same time I do for work, but there is something special about waking up naturally. 

I have been thinking about Doug a lot this week. It's strange how after a funeral service people stop talking about someone so quickly. For me, this is when I usually think about the person often. The initial shock and pain have dulled, and I can think about them without crying. Doug's brother posted some really interesting words on Facebook the other night - I refer to them as interesting only because I get a different feel from the post every time I read it. It was essentially a thank you to the people who came to the service, a note about what a great job the pastor did, and a mention that he is sure he'll be able to one day think about his brother and smile, laugh.. but today is not that day. 

For some reason it was almost comforting to know that people - in this case family, but still - are still hurting. I know that sounds sick. But I honestly don't mean it that way. I am just so used to being the "rock" for my family, and not having a chance to do my grieving until I've been the crying shoulder for them, that I always end up feeling like I'm alone in my grief. 

But I'm not alone at all. So many people are still sad. Still mad. Still sorting their feelings out. 

Sorry to put a damper on my Friday Eve post! 

I have to leave you with this: 

Mr. Fox and I grabbed grinders for a quick dinner and I thought the way the woman at the deli labeled them was just adorable! 

I'll be back tomorrow for Weigh In Day!! Fingers crossed that 260+ is gone forever!!!! 

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